Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
