Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
