We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
