Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
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