haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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