At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
