the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
