i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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