Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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