She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize