is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm both gender and math confused
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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