Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
