I'm jealous of your bromance
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
