Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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