And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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