I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
