there's paper in my vomit.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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