That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
