My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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