She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
