evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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