But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
