Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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