my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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