I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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