I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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