U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
