The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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