Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I had to cum in my sink.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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