I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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