Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize