Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
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I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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