So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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