I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
