wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
