none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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