I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize