I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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