when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
