Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
