At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
