last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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