Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
nutella sex= disaster
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
