Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
