Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
50% drunk capacity currently
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
