Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
