I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize