Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
