So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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