Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
