btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
