Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
