These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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