Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
