He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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