what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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